Not Another One
by Peaceouttalove
Summary: Continuation to Baby Mine and fourth book in Married Life Series.
1. Chapter 1

**This a continuation of Baby Mine. It's the fifth book in the Married Life Series. If you haven't assumed so already, the main theme will be Kyman fluffiness, so if you don't like, don't read. Please R&R. Thanks.**

Chapter 1

(Eric's POV)

I couldn't wait to see the look on Kyle's face when he saw me come home early with flowers. Unlike last night, this night I was after something, but he was a smart little Jew, so he'd figure out what I wanted quick enough.

Theo came running the moment I opened the door. "Daddy, you're home early!" Damn it. "So are you." I said as I picked him up and spun him around. "Yeah, that's because the rabbi cancelled Hebrew school today. Are those flowers for Mom?" "Yup." I kissed his cheek and put him down.

"Are you giving him flowers because he's gonna have a baby?" Theo blurted. I laughed. "That's funny, but one kid is enough for us. Now where's Kahl?" "Upstairs. Do you think it's gonna be a sister or a brother?"

I ignored Theo and headed upstairs where my Jew was waiting for me. "Oh, hey, sweetheart, you're home early." "I know I am." I said and handed him the flowers. "Oh my God, Eric. What are these for?" "Uh...Theo, go look at your rocks or something, Mommy and I have to have an adult conversation."

"Oh, I see what they're for, now." Kyle grinned. "Thought you would. Plus you still have to make it up to me for forgetting about yesterday." I replied and kissed his nose. "I'm still really sorry about th-Mmm, that feels nice. Don't stop!" He moaned as I started to give him a hickey.

"It gets a lot better than that." I mumbled as I unbuttoned his shirt. "Wait, not now, Eric." Kyle pulled away. "What do you mean not now?" "Because we need to talk."

"Godamn it, here it comes...We're too old, Eric, we have a kid now, let's give the sex a break." I groaned. "No, that's not what I was gonna say. I was gonna say that...I'm pregnant again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

(Kyle's POV)

"You're what?!" Eric cried, "I thought Theo was joking, but I guess I still have to use a condom whenever I...it _is _mine, isn't it?" "No, it's not yours." I said solemnly, but couldn't hold my poker face for long and laughed, "It's _ours__. _And why wouldn't it be? We're ten years married and I don't think I could ever leave you even if I _wanted _to." I assured him. "Eleven." Eric corrected me. "What?" "We've been married eleven years, dumbass." He wasn't going to let me live this down.

I quickly went back to the subject of our newest child, "So what do you think?" "About the baby? Well, knowing you, I'd say abortion is out of the question, and I wouldn't be able to live myself if I divorced you at this point...so I don't really have a choice, do I?" Eric said.

I rolled my eyes, "Come on, remember how happy you were when you finally realized I actually was pregnant with Theo and how cute he was when he was tiny a little thing. Now we have a chance to do it again."

"Theo's still cute, for your information, and I was actually looking forward To him growing up, so we can have more time to...do certain things, like last night. That kicked ass. If we have another baby, we won't have a chance for that for a long time and by then, it might be too late." Eric explained.

My feelings were the opposite. As much as I loved fun adult time with Eric, I didn't want Theo to grow up, I wanted him to be my little baby forever, and the thought of him getting older always made me cry. Even now, I wanted to cry. But I didn't, I just said, "Well you should've thought of that before you screwed me without a condom."

"So there's no way to talk you out of this?" Eric said. "No way! I'm having this baby with or without you. So you in, or do you wanna sleep on the couch tonight, so you can think it over?" I said.

"Well, it depends, Kahl, can we still cuddle at night without you bitching about how the baby will walk in and catch us." Eric said. Selfish bastard, why was I married to him...Oh yeah, I'm in love with him. "With clothes on, yeah." I agreed.

"Then, it's a deal, Jew. Who knows, I love you and Theo, so I might end up loving our new kid." Eric said and he kissed me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Theo's favorite food in the whole wide world was pizza, so for a change, I was going to try cooking a pizza rather than ordering it. Yes, I said I was going to try cooking. God help us all.

"What do you think, babe, can I do it?" I asked my stomach (the baby was now a week old). I waited for a kick or something, but wasn't surprised when nothing happened, it was way too early. I had to at least wait until the weight gaining kicked in.

I watched the cooking channel as I got out my ingredients. But before I could start the phone rang. "Hello." "Hello, this is the principal of Theodore's school, Mr. Taylors." Oh crap.

"I'll pay for it, he didn't mean it, he just gets really offended when people diss rocks, math, and gays, it's not his fault." I said.

"Oh, no, Theodore is not in trouble. This is good news." Mr. Taylors assured me. "Really? The only good news comes in the form of his straight A report card." I said skeptically. "Well, that will come in the mail, later this month, and don't be surprised when you see his A's." he chuckled.

"Anyway, last week third graders were doing an activity with the seventh graders over at the middle school, but since he was quite tall for his age, Theodore was mistaken as a seventh grader and was forced to take a test while the rest of the third graders got their snack."

Poor Theo. Even though he was nerdy, taking a super hard test while your friends got to eat cookies, which you couldn't eat anyway because you were diabetic really sucked.

"The results came back today, and Theodore was the only student in the class to not only pass, but get an A, and the essay, which brought most students' scores down, brought his score up." Mr. Taylors said.

I gasped, and wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, "That's my boy." I choked. "Your boy happens to be a genius. We gave him an IQ test today and he got 180. We are considering letting him skip all the way to eight or ninth grade." Mr. Taylors stated. "No way." I murmured. "We are not sure yet, though and will keep you posting through the summer." "OK, thank you. Bye."

"Damn." I said. And then looked back down at my stomach, "Don't worry, you don't have to be a genius to get my love. Now let's try for that pizza."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

To say my pizza tasted like shit would be an understatement. After scrubbing the kitchen clean from the mess I made, I decided it would be best to order pizza.

So, I headed upstairs to inform Eric and Theo that the wait for dinner might be a little bit longer. They were sitting on his bed, talking in German. "What the hell?" I cried.

"Oh, hey Mom, I was just telling Dad how I could get a foreign language elective if I move up to middle school next year, and he told me to take German, and I told him I was already fluent...and the next thing I know we were having a conversation." Theo explained.

"Don't give me that look, Kahl, it's true." Eric insisted. "Yeah, don't be an anti-anti-semi." Theo added. "A what?" I asked. "It means you're reverse anti-semetic. If you see two people speaking German out on the street, you think they're plotting another Holocaust."

I folded my arms and frowned, but then remembered why I was here, "I'm ordering pizza. You're lucky we're not having salad, it's a hell of a lot healthier."

"No! I'll behave, please order pizza...I'll speak in Hebrew if you want..." Theo starts blurting something in Hebrew. I laughed, "How many languages do you know?" "Five if you count English. Please get the pizza." "Of course, I'm getting the pizza." I assured him. "Yay! Can I go watch Terrance and Philip they show the reruns around now." I nodded and sent Theo downstairs to watch it.

"That kid is too smart for his own good." Eric said. "Makes me proud...So what were you guys talking about?" I said. "Oh, well, he said he only speaks Hebrew with the rabbi in their Hebrew school lessons, and he tried to teach the French foreign exchange student English, but ended up learning French. But we mostly talked about the baby. He's really excited about it and wants to help out with the diapers and maybe feed it."

"Not, _it_, _baby_." I correct him. "Not this again, I'm sorry, _baby_." Eric said. "Well, it's good to know that he agrees me." It was such a shame that Eric wasn't as motivated with this child as he was with Theo. _  
_

"Eric?" I asked. He met my eyes, "Hmm?" "If you _did _have the choice. What would you want?" I asked. "I've been asking myself that, and I honestly, don't know anymore, Ky." "What do you mean?"

"Well, I see your and Theo's faces whenever you talk about the baby...and well...I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I...killed that love in your eyes, I care about both of you too much...and the possibility of this new baby." Eric patted my stomach.

"Dude!" I cried a grin forming on my face, "You mean now you care about the baby?" "Yes, I think I'm slowly starting to l-love him or her like I said I would. God, you have no idea how hard it was to admit all that. What a relief to get that off my chest." Eric said. I rolled my eyes.

"So, speaking of that, I have some baby names, I'd been meaning to run by you. Since Theo was named after me, I thought this baby could be named after you. Kyle for a boy, Kylie for a girl." Eric said.

"What?" I whispered. I must've heard wrong, he couldn't have said what I thought he said. "It's just a thought, it's not set in stone or anything, Kahl, are you OK?" Eric suddenly looked concerned. I didn't blame, him, I must've looked like a fish out of water, flapping my mouth open and close, looking for the shocked words to say.

Finally I was able to blurt, "You said my name right." "I did?" Eric said. "You did!" I said. "I've always been able to say it, you know that? I just said it like that to annoy you and never grew out of the habit, and you told me it turned you on, so I didn't stop." Eric admitted and it was the first time I saw him blush in a while.

"C-Can you say it again?" I asked. Eric grabbed my hands, looked straight into my eyes, "Kyle." I melted inside. He put a hand to my cheek, "I love you, Kyle." "I love you, too Eric...Can you say my name one more time?" "Kyle."


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it's so short and crappy. It will get better, I promise. Until then, please, please, please R&R. Reviewers will get an internet lick from my adorable little toy fox terrier, Sparky. Thank you. **

Chapter 5

I was now four months in, and had gained a good fifteen pounds. Eric and I left Theo with my parents (he's probably be fluent in going to be fluent in Yiddish when we picked him up, thus proving to Eric that it _was _a seperate language from Hebrew) while we went to have my first ultrasound.

"You know your story is known all over the world, and now you're having another one," the doctor chuckled, "You're going to be the envy of most guys, and quite a few girls."

I grinned, "It really is amazing isn't it." I patted my stomach and then looked back up at the fuzzy little shape starting to form on the ultrasound screen. "It certainly is." The doctor said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, so is it healthy?" Eric said. I resisted rolling my eyes because this time he wasn't being an apathetic asshole, he really did care about the baby. "Healthy as a little girl can get." The doctor said.

"Girl?" We echoed. "Well, it is hard to tell as of now, but there is a strong chance that it will be a girl because there should be a you know what right about there." The doctor pointed to a blank spot that looked like it was between two tiny legs...which suddenly thrusted.

"OW!" I cried and rubbed the side of my stomach from where the kick came from. "Awe, she's starting to kick, that's so sweet." I said.

"So, in about five months, we'll meet little baby Kylie?" Eric confirmed. "I think so, but you should keep coming back regularly." The doctor said. "OK, thank you." I said.


	6. Chapter 6

**I would like to make a shout-out to styleluver123 and Mollanise for their reviews and support. Continue to R&R everyone. Thanks. **

Chapter 6

"Three more months." I said to myself as I stared at my balloon of a stomach in the mirror. Kylie was a fiesty little thing, always kicking, and making me crave food that I didn't even like (mostly bananas, which I fucking despise with a burning pashion), so I figured...God help us...she was gonna take after her dad, but I didn't know for sure. Either way, it would all be worth it, just like it was with Theo.

I drew a finger around the curving scar on my stomach that had faded, but still never healed. The doctor said it wouldn't get in the way of delivery, and I was praying he was right.

"And then they farted on the zombie, but it-" I heard Mike filling Theo and Dennis in on the Terrance and Phillip Halloween special as the Boys came in through the side door. While I had no doubt Theo would succeed academically in the upcoming school year, I was nerbous he would lose his friends, and wouldn't be able to befriend the older children. Skipping three grades was never a good thing for your social life.

"What are you going to do about Rover?" Dennis whispered. "I think my parents will be cool. I saw of photo of them before they had me and they had a dog and a cat...of course they were smaller than Rover, but I'm sure it'll be fine." Theo said.

Did Theo bring a dog home? I opened the door and peeked around the corner. My face was suddenly splashed a pink tongue and I met the most adorable big round eyes of a chocolate brown lab.

"Shit! Mom, please don't be mad. He was a stray, we found him on the street crying, he doesn't have a home!" Theo cried. "He doesn't? Are you sure this can't be his home?" I laughed as I started to pet Rover. "I was hoping you'd say that." Theo said and hugged me, "Oh thank you, Mom!"

"But, you have to promise to always feed him, walk him, and clean up his messes, the minute you don't do it, he goes, understand?" I said. "Of course, don't worry about that, he's my baby, I'll take great care of him. Come on Rover, let's go to my room!"

I dialed Eric's number, and as usual he picked up on the first ring, "'Sup, Jew?" "How would you feel about having a dog?" I said. "Depends, if it's a tiny little shit like Storm, then no, we should get a real dog this time...Maybe an attack dog, like a Pitbull, or a Dobermine, the kinda pet a policeman _should _have."

"How about a brown lab?" I said. "Well, I guess it's big enough, but I wanted something that could bite an intruder's face off and shows off my authoritah...less fluffy and more gruesome." Eric said. "That sucks, 'cause I promsied Theo that he could keep the brown lab he found on the street, already named it Rover, and you know once you name it, you get attached to it." I said.

"Son of bitch, why didn't you tell me this was Theo's idea. Tell him, he can have whatever the hell he wants because he's the smartest bestest son in the world." Eric said. "If I tell him that, he'll start bitching about how bestest isn't a word," I laughed, "So you cool with Rover?" "Yeah, of course. I'll see you later, I have to go catch some bitch who's ilegally parking in a handicapped spot. I love you, babe." "Bye. I love you, too."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

(Eric's POV)

Theo and I were at Kyle's bedside, waiting for the medicine to kick in, so the doctor could start the procedure. Of course, Kyle wanted to stay awake to see kylie come out. "Stop trying to fight it," I said, "the sooner you're out, the sooner we'll all meet Kylie." "It's much safer to deliver her when your out." The doctor said. "OK." He shut his eyes andin a few minutes, he was out cold.

I handed Theo my credit card and told him to get some flowers and pink balloons form downstairs. He reluctantly obeyed me, but I couldn't let him see this, even I was freaked out...Well, I guess I was having deja vu from the first time, especially with Kyle's scars so visible and exposed. When we were in bed, it really didn't matter to me, but now...

But in about twenty minutes, it all became worth it to me. Theo returned just in time to see his crying sister being pulled into the world. "Wow, she's so little." he said. "You were that little once." I said. "No way!"

After running some tests, the nurse announced that Kylie was a healthy little redhead and handed her to me in a pink blanket. "Another Daywalker...Guess that makes me love you more." I mumbled as I gentle finger combed her thin red curls. She looked up at me and I was shocked to meet blue eyes. Huh. My grandparents had blue eyes, so I guess she must've gotten their genes.

Kyle suddenly stirred, "I-Is that her?" "Yeah, here, you hold her." I handed him our daughter. "So beautiful." Kyle said.

"Mom, what's wrong, why are you crying?" Theo asked. "Because I'm so happy." I laughed and decided that I was just as happy...But not the type who would cry over it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kylie was four months old now. The sweetheart would cry if we took her anywhere without Lambie, her stuffed lamb, which never left her sight, but other than that we didn't have too many problems with her. She was very well behaved during play time, meal time, and would even fall asleep without a problem during nap time.

Theo was true to his word about Rover and Kylie. He helped raised both of them as if they were his own (well, I guess Rover was his own). Rover and Kylie got along quite well because he knew to stay away from Lambie, and she knew to stay away from his favorite chew toy.

Back to Theo, well, he was actually doing pretty well in the eight grade and was managing to keep his friends and girlfriend while he was at it. Of course, he handed me his report card with a guilty look on his face and I was actually proud to see several B+s and A-s. I told him that it meant the material was challenging enough and he was truly learning new things. When that didn't cheer Theo up, Eric went to his mom's house to find his old eight grade report card, which she had kept of course to prove that her baby wasn't failing every class.

We then all went out for ice cream (kosher and sugar free much to Eric's complaint, of course). As I spoon fed Kylie some french vanilla, I noticed people giving us funny looks. By now I should be used to them, but I wasn't. "Just ignore them." Eric said and patted my back.

Kylie suddenly started to bawl. "Awe, what's wrong, baby? Don't you like it?" I said. "I'm sorry, it's my fault." Theo held up Lambie whose face was now covered in Rocky Road ice cream. "

"Goddamn it, Kahl, I told you we shouldn't have brought that thing." Eric said. "But then she would've been crying this entire time." I said. "It's not my fault you bought that ugly little thing for her." he said. So that's how he wanted to play it, blaming me for this. "Well unlike you I actually care about my daughter's happiness." I cried. "How dare you say that! I care about her just as much as you." Eric shouted, his face turning red with anger. I struck a nerve...Good.

"How the hell can you lie to me like that!" I said. "Because it's not a fucking lie!" Eric said. "You know sometimes I wonder why I feel the way I feel about you." I said and got up to get some napkins. "Kahl, wait, you can't-"

"Look at them, arguing like a married couple." A woman whispered. "That's because we _are_ a married couple, bitch!" Eric shouted. I rolled my eyes. "Let's get out of here." I said as I dabbed Lambie clean with the napkin. He nodded and I picked Kylie up and we left.

The car ride home was quiet. Theo sat guiltily in the backseat, obviously feeling bad for provoking us to fight. Kyle was in her carseat uninterested in anything but her Lambie. Eric was focused on the road, but his tense body language told me he was still pissed. As for me, I was fiddling with my thumbs, and looking down at my feet.

This was the first time we had gotten in a bad fight in front of Theo, let alone Kylie.I think Theo has heard us fight at night when he was in bed, but this was the first time we had fought in front of him.

Eric pulled into our driveway and unlocked the doors. He tossed Theo the keys and told him to let Kylie in. "We're gonna talk things over in here, but it might be a while." Shit.

When Theo was in the house, Eric pushed me down and was on to of me. "Dude!" I cried, as he started to kiss me. "Aren't you pissed?" "I was, but then I figured it was because you were just horny and we have some sexual tension that we need to literally fuck off. It's been four long months after all." He wiped the tear from my eye, "I don't wanna hear the apology, just let me fuck you." "You know me too well."


	9. Chapter 9

**I forget if I made a shout-out to kymangirl in the last chapter or not, but I'd like to thank her for her support and creating an account just for these stories. That's really cool! **

**I appologize for this short piece of crap that is known as Chapter 9, but I am under a lot of stress with a stupid social studies project on the civil war in Syria, so it's all I will post for now. **

Chapter 9

Theo saw us come back inside hand in hand with huge grins on our faces and he smiled back (only his smile was a happy innocent one, not a devious smirk). "Yay, you guys are friends again!" He said. "More than friends, sweetie." I said. "Yeah, more like butt-buddies." Eric mumbled, and I prayed Theo didn't hear. I kicked him.

"I really thought you were going to get a divorce and it would suck. I mean I hear you fight almost every night, but to do it public like that is-" "Shh. No one is getting a divorce." I assured him.

"Oh good. Anyways, when you were gone Kylie said her first word." Theo informed us. "She did?" Eric and I cried. I glanced at my baby girl on the floor, playing with Lambie and Rover.

"Well, what did she say?" Eric asked. "She said 'Ogee'." Theo announced. We laughed. "That's not a word." I said. "No, it is look it up. O-G-E-E, is means the letter S." Theo said.

"What do you know he's right, it says, that it's the double curve representing S." Eric said astonished as he looked it up on his phone. "You see? Kylie's a genius. Just like me." Theo said, but when he tried to pick her up, she started to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

**Alright, now I'm back on track. Thanks for your patience and cooperation.**

Chapter 10

Theo was wrong about Kylie being a genius. She was now two years old and would be turning three next month. Cute and beautiful as a doll, she was ,but not the brightest. I had completely given up on teaching her her numbers and alphabet early because she just refused to learn. But she was very street smart. Kylie knew the exact times to cry, or look or say something cute in order to get what she wanted. I guess Kylie wouldn't be Eric's child if she wasn't manipulative.

But there was one thing that we would never let Kylie do. "Can I be wike the giwls on TV, Momma?" She asked me one day. "Which girls, sweetie?" "The ones wif the makeup and tiawas, like Honey Boo Boo." "NO!" I shouted horrified at the very thought that my daughter wanted to succumb to those shitty, stupid, artificial pageants.

Kylie began to bawl like there was no tomorrow. Rover walked by and growled at me for making her cry, he could be like another protective older brother sometimes. "I'm sorry, baby, but the answer is no, no matter how much you cry."

"Is it because you fink I'm not pwetty enough?" Damn it, here she goes, she gonna push the guilt on me until I say yes. But then I got an idea, "Exactly, those stupid pageants are for pretty little girls, you're not pretty, you're beyond pretty, you're beautiful and angelic, so you'd be disqualified if I put you in one of them. I'm sorry, I should've told you that a long time ago, but it would ruin your dreams of being just _pretty._" I said the word pretty as if it was disease.

"Wow, weally, Momma?" Kylie had now stopped crying and was very intrigued by what I just said. "Yup, but you can't tell any other girls, because they'll get jealous." I said and then glanced at my watch, "Come on, we have to pick your brother up from Hebrew school."

Before we left, I sent a text to Eric telling him I knew exactly what to get Kylie for her birthday.

* * *

"I can't believe she's three already." I said. "I can't believe Theo's gonna become a man in the summer." Eric said. I followed his glance to our first born who was having a conversation in Hebrew with my dad.

It wasn't Theo's bar mitzvah this summer that was freaking me out, it was his graduation next summer. Since he had skipped four grades, he would be graduating in about two years from now, which really freaked the living shit out of me. What kind of thirteen year old boy is starting to prepare college applications?

I took a deep breath and decided to stick with the task at hand; celebrating Kylie's third birthday party. "Did you get the gift?" I asked. "Yup, but you have no idea how hard it was. I had to fight over this bitch for the last one like it was a Victoria's Secret bra." I laughed, imagining Eric pulling a gun on the woman.

"Guys, the birthday girl's coming." Theo informed us as Kylie headed downstairs with a fluffy blue dress that matched her eyes prefectly and...mini heels...Dude, where the hell did she get those? I didn't even know they made heels that small...Then again with those little girls, like Honey Boo Boo I wasn't too surprised.

"How the hell could you buy her heels, Jew, you're training her to be a slut when she grows up." Eric said. "What are you talking about? I didn't buy those, I bought her those pink princess sneakers that light up. I don't know where the hell she got the heels from." I said. "Obnoxious bitch probably managed to steal them from the shoe store without getting caught." Eric mumbled. "Hey, that's my daughter you're talking about!" I hissed. "Our daughter, and I'm just saying..."

"Can we have cake now?" Kylie asked. "Of course." I said and we all headed towards the kitchen, only to find that Rover was licking the cake clean from the plate it was on. "Oh son of a bitch!...Literally! Bad dog! Go outside and think about what you've done!" Eric shouted. Rover obediently headed through the doggy door with his head down low.

At this point Kylie was crying, and we didn't know what to do. The only one who wasn't too upset was Theo. I guess because he knew neither of us could have eaten the cake anyway.

I sighed, "I guess we should open presents." Kylie perked up, "YAY! Pwesents!" She got mostly Barbie dolls, but Eric and I were saving our present for last. Considering her newest obsession with those pageants, and the magical heels that had appeared on her feet, I knew she would be very please with what we got her.

"Alright, Kylie, you ready for the last present from me and Daddy?" I half expected Theo to correct me and say, "Daddy, and I," but he didn't so, I guess I used it correctly.

"Yes!" Kylie grabbed the package from me and ripped it open. "Oh wow, Minnie Mouse!" She jumped up and down excidetly when she saw the picture of her favorite Disney character on the box, but then asked, "What does it say on the box?"

"It says Princess Minnie's Beauty and Makeup Kit complete with tiara, lip gloss, and everything you need to be a princess with Minnie." I read for her. "I LOVE IT!" Kylie grabbed the box and went upstairs to her room.

"If she comes out looking like a prostitute, you have to remember that this was your idea." Eric said. I rolled my eyes.

I wondered what we were gonna do when Kylie grew up and had a bunch of boys hitting on her, something told me she would grow up to be a beauty who would.


	11. Chapter 11

**R&R please. Thanks.**

Chapter 11

"I brought tissues, in case you break down." Eric said handing me the kleenex box. "Thank you." He knew how I felt about our children growing up, and I was appreciative that he didn't mock me over it. Although he did admti to not understanding why I felt this way.

"It's supposed to be happy." Eric said. "I know, I know, it just freaks me out because it's all happening so quickly." Theo having a bar mitzvah. My little boy becoming a man, graduting soon...off to college... I grabbed a kleenex and dabbed my eyes as we pulled into the temple.

"Can you guys wait outside the car, I have to get some shit out of my system." Eric said. "Um...OK, I guess." I took Kylie out of her car seat and stood outside, not really sure what Eric was gonna do...Jerk off maybe...

I suddenly hear him shouting antisemtic comments at the top of his lungs. I quickly covered Kylie's ears and tapped my foot impatiently.

"...Except for Kahl, he's cool...and Theo and Kylie of course, but that's because they have my kick ass genes. Anyway...I'm done."

Finally Eric came out, "Alright, I'm good. Let's go get some of that fancy Jewish wine." "If you ever say anything like that again, you're sleeping on the couch for the rest of your life." I threatened.

"Aw, come on, Kahl, I had to get it out, otherwise, I would've said all of that in front of everyone, and you know the rabbi hates me as it is, and you heard my three exceptions, didn't you?" Eric said. God damn it, those forgiving eyes..."Whatever, just promise me you won't call the rabbi the K word again." "I told you, I got it all out of my system, I'm good for the rest of the night. Now come on, we're gonna miss Theo's big moment."

* * *

Theo approached the bema. He looked pale and shaky. How on Earth could he be nervous, he spoke fluent Hebrew. "Did he forget to take his insulin or something?" Eric whispered. "No, he's just really nervous I think." I replied.

He whispered something into the rabbi's ear. The rabbi nodded and said, "Theodore just needs a cup of water before he starts." He got him a glass, and even thought Theo drank it up, he didn't stop shaking.

Theo went back to the bema, still looking nervous as hell. He cleared his throat and began to recite a prayer in a shaky, timid voice that was barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Theodore, can you start again, maybe just a little bit louder, so that the people in the back can hear you. You did so well in Hebrew school, can you do it like you did then?"

Theo nodded, and started again, just loud enough for everyone to hear. "Why is he so nervous? I've heard him practice in his room and he sounded so much better." Eric whispered. I shurgged.

Kylie suddenly hopped off of Eric's lap and headed towards the bema. "Kylie, no!" I whispered. She didn't hear me. Shit. What should I do? If I called her back, it would disturb Theo, but if I got up and dragged her back, it would be even worse.

She was now right next to the rabbi, who was so busy watching Theo that he didn't notice. Kylie then tickled his leg, and as he laughed, so did everyone else, even Eric was chuckling.

Theo ran off, I thought I saw a tear in his eye. Shit, he must've thought we were all laughing at him. The rabbi ran after him, but he had locked himself in the boys' bathroom and refused to come out.

"Theo, please come out." I said. He opened the door, pulled me in and then slammed it shut again. "Oh, Mom, it was horrible, they were all laughing at me, even the rabbi." He sobbed. "Here, you need these more than me." I handed him the kleenex box.

When Theo collected himself, I hugged him and said, "Listen to me, Theo, they were not laughing at you, Kylie was tickling the rabbi. Everyone out there loves you, and wants you to do well. Now go out there and do it exactly the way you did it in your room." "OK, I'll try." He replied. "That's all I want you to do."

We came out and Theo reapproached the bema, while the rest of us got settled again. "You're not getting away from me this time, missy." Eric hissed as Theo started up again. Everyone gasped when they heard how much better he sounded.

"Jesus, Kahl, what did you tell him? The difference is like night and day." Eric whispered. I couldn't stop grinning. "You've gotta love him." My son was now a man. Damn it, why did we leave those tissues in the bathroom?

(Theo's POV)

I was reunited with my friends at the party. They said that I did great and deserved to party. Then someone hugged me. "Oh, Theo, I'm sorry I missed it, I was getting my braces off!" Melanie smiled showing off her new sparkly straight teeth. Ohmygod she looked gorgeous.

Huh...what the hell was going on with wiener? "I-I have to go." I ran off to the bathroom and tried to figure out what was going on. Was the white stuff normal?

About a week later, I found out it was. Uncle Kenny told me everything I needed to know about growing up...Take that as you will...I'm _really _a man now.


	12. Chapter 12

**It's been a while. Sorry. This will be more about Kyman and less about the kids. But don't worry I plan for a cute moment about Kylie Theo and Rover in the next chapt and then a family moment in the next. R&R**

Chapter 12

I woke up only to find a note on Eric's pillow. _Kahl-couldn't sleep went out for a walk. Be back soon. _Knowing Eric, soon meant later tonight. I sighed, of all days to bail on me. Then again, I've been keeping track of all the aniversaries and birthdays he forgot combined, and I was at fifteen, while I only slipped once. I shouldn't be surprised.

Kylie, Theo, and Rover came into my room. "Happy birthday, Mommy, here you are with breakfast in bed." Kylie said as Theo handed me my cereal bowl. "Wow, thank you!" "Where's Dad?" Theo asked. "He went out. He'll be back later." I said.

The phone rang and Kylie answered. "Hello? Oh, hey Uncle Stan! What's up? Oh, OK, catch." She suddenly threw the phone at me. Thanks to all those years of basketball, I was able to catch it, but made a mental note to scold her later.

"Happy birthday, Ky! How do you feel?" Stan said. "Old." I said. "Come on, you're only thirty-eight that's not too old. At least you're not married to a bitch." "I heard that!" Wendy shouted.

Stan ignored her, "So how's the fat ass?" "I don't know. He's gone, left a note that said he's going out for a walk. I think he forgot." I said.

"You don't think he's...you know?" Stan asked. "No, what?" I asked. "Cheating on you." Stan mumbled. I gasped. "NO! Eric wouldn't do that. Not after being sixteen years married. I mean come on we have kids!" I shouted. "Sorry, sorry, sorry," Stan said, "it was just a thought. Anyway, Wends pretty pissed so I'm gonna go talk to her. Have a good one."

* * *

It was noon and Eric still wasn't home. I was beginning to worry. He wasn't answering my calls. Maybe if I checked my email it would take my mind off things. Then I noticed the history in the search box.

_What should a fat slob get a sexy Jew for his birthday? _Followed by, _How to get skinny in a few hours._

I froze. "Shit!" I cried. Eric was probably getting one of those stupid surgeries for me. I had to stop him before it was too late. "Theo, watch your sister!" I shouted and hopped into my car.

Luckily, I caught Eric right as he was about to go into the doctor's office for his appointment.

"Eric, you don't have to do this." I said. "Kahl, what are you doing here?" He said. "If you wanna surprise me, clear your history next time." I said.

"Damn it! I just thought it would be a great surprise for me to come back skinny and sexy, I mean look at you, thirty-eight and you don't look a day over twenty-one, and then look at me, fat, stupid, and the other day when I was getting my haircut the barber found two gray hairs." Eric said.

I rolled my eyes, "I think you look fucking hot. I'd do you right now, if we weren't in the middle of a hospital. I don't want you to change. And the one thing I hate is being outsmarted...Unless it's by Theo because he's my own. And as for the weight it means there's more of you to love. Plus, it balances us out, I mean I'm so skinny, so it looks better for me to be by someone who looks like you."

"So, you really don't want me to do this?" Eric asked. "No, never, I love you the way you are." I assured him. "OK, that's a relief because I was kinda scared." He looked over my face and smiled, sealing our happiness with a kiss.

"Happy birthday, Kahl, sorry I didn't get you anything." "It's fine. I don't care. At least you remembered this time." He ran his fingers through my hair before saying, "I love you so much." "I love you, too. Now let's go home and make sure the kids didn't burn down the house." I said.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the wait, been busy. As promised, a cute scene with Theo Kylie and Rover**

Chapter 13

(Theo's POV)

"What's so interesting about looking through a dumb old telescope?" Kylie asked. "Have you ever seen stars and planets up close?" I asked. "Not up close, but-" "Here." I lifted her so she could see through the telescope.

"Whoa! Are those stars? They're so twinkly." Kylie exclaimed. "Uh-huh, and they all have names, like that one is the big dipper and-"

Kylie cut me off, "I thought you knew about rocks not stars and space." I shrugged, "Mom wanted me to broaden my scientific knowledge, so that's why he and Dad got me this for my birthday." I explained.

"Oh, that's a bummer. It's cool at first,but I wouldn't want to waste my birthday gift on it. I'd want something prettier, like a unicorn! Unless of course, these telescope things come in pink?" My sister said.

"Unicorns aren't real, and before you can ask for a pony, I'm gonna say it's not practical, and those are facts." I stated. Kylie stomped her foot and shouted,"Well facts are stupid!" "As you get older, you'll realize that-" "I am older! I'm gonna be five soon, if you count that on your fingers, you'll get a whole hand!" "Whatever you say, sis."

"I'm going to feed Rover to prove to Mommy and Daddy that I'm the responsible one, not you." Kylie stuck her tongue out at me. I rolled my eyes, "Beat you to it." "But that's not fair!"

"You can take him for a walk if you want, just don't travel too far from the house and be back by seven." I said. "OK, come on Rover, we're going for a walk."

I watched them head out and smiled. She might be a brat sometimes, but Kylie was definitely cute. I remembered when she was just a little girl, even then she wanted to be a princess. In fact her first word was princess-Oh wait, scratch that, it was ogee, wasn't it. I smiled at the memory.

Suddenly Rover came rushing through the doggie door, barking madly. "What happened, boy? Where's Kylie?" He ran back out, and barked for me to follow him. I did and only when I went outside did I realize how truly dark it was.

How could I let Kylie come out here on her own? I could barely see Rover who was only a few feet in front of me.

Rover stopped and pointed with his left paw. "What? There's nothing there!" I said.

"Theo, help me!" Kylie cried from below me. I gasped and realized that there was a pothole in front of me and she was trapped inside. "Shoot, Kylie, how did this happen!" I said.

"I don't know. I was walking and I just fell in. Please get me out of here. I'm scared. I want Mommy and Daddy. Help me Theo, please." Kylie was crying.

"OK, OK, grab hold of my hand." She grabbed my hand and I was able to pull her out. "Are you all right?" I asked Kylie as I held her. "Do I look all right. I almost died! And look, I broked my arm!" She gestured to the small cut on her arm, "Now put me down!" Kylie shouted.

"Don't exaggerate!" I said as I placed her down. "I don't know what exaverate means, but you're gonna get in some much trouble when Mommy and Daddy come home." Kylie said. "Don't worry about that, let's get you cleaned off first." I replied.

* * *

As I put a bandaid on Kylie's arm, Mom and Dad walked through the door. "Oh my God, what happened?" Mom cried. "I'm sorry, I should've been watching her." I said. I hung my head low and was ready to face whatever punishment I had coming.

"Damn right you should've been!" Dad shouted, "Do you have any idea what could've happened to-"

"No, Dad, don't blame Theo." Kylie said. "It was my fault. We were walking Rover, and I ran ahead. Theo told me to wait for him, but I didn't listen, and I fell into a hothole."

I was astonished. Kylie, taking the blame for me? Who was this girl and where on Earth was my sister?

"Pothole," Mom corrected her, "which we've been asking the mayor to fix for a long time now." He sighed, "Kylie, you know better than that. We put Theo in charge for a reason, and we expect you to listen to him like you would with us."

"I know," Kylie said, and she uttered the two words that were so rare to her vocabulary that she was practically allergic to them, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry won't cut it. My mom never punished me, and I don't want you turning out like me." Dad said. Mom and I rolled our eyes. "I know you're gonna hate me for what I'm about to do, but later on you'll be thanking me. Now g-"

Stupid conscience. "Dad, wait. Kylie's lying for me. The truth is that I wasn't watching her and I let her go out by herself with Rover."

"Is that true, Kylie?" Mom asked. She shook her head, "Don't punish Theo." "What are you talking about?" I shouted, "Punish me! I deserve to be punish. I can't go to bed with a guilty conscience." "But you saved me. You shouldn't get in trouble for saving me." Kylie pointed out. "Yeah, but it was my fault you were in that pothole." I said.

We continued to go back and forth on which one of us should be punished until we realized that Mom and Dad had left.

They were on the couch watching TV. "You two done yet?" Dad asked. "Who's getting punished?" I asked. "Neither of you, you're great kids. Now go to your rooms before we change our minds." Mom said.

"Theo?" Kylie said. "Yes?" "Thanks for saving me." "Hey, it's what big brothers do. Come here," I wrapped her into a hug, "I love you, Kylie, don't forget that." "Well, you're a total nerd, but you're pretty cool, too, Theo." she replied.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Theo's senior year came and went faster than a lightning bolt. He had passed all his AP exams and was now choosing among Princeton, Yale, and Harvard, all willing to give him a scholarship.

But the night after his graduation, he came into our room and said he had a nightmare about college. "I'm not ready!" Theo said, "Please let me wait a year or two, at least until I'm old enough to drive and use the oven."

I don't think I was ever this happy to hear news. "Of couse you can wait. Wait as long as you need. You're only fourteen, in my eyes you're still my little baby boy." "Thanks, Mom. Dad, what do you-Oh, never mind." Theo said when he noticed that Eric had fallen back to sleep.

So now, Theo's gonna stay home and try to act his age. And to help him, Eric and I agreed to go to Disney for the weekend.

Even though it was more for Theo's sake, Kylie was exatic. She brought a two page list of all the princesses she wanted autographs of and wouldn't stop talking about the whole princess makeover thingy. In my mind that translated to waiting in long lines for some lady to sign her stage name and spending about seventy bucks for someone to make her hair look like Cinderella, but explaining this to a six year old girl without her crying was nearly impossible.

"All right, what should we do first?" I asked when we arrived. "Presidents'Hall of Fame." Theo said as Kylie said, "Princesses." "OK,why don't I take Theo to the President's Hall of Fame, and you take Kylie to see the princesses, and we'll meet up later." I told Eric.

"Can we get a Mickey ice cream bar on the way?" Eric asked. "Oooh, can we, Mommy, please?" Kylie begged. "Why are you asking me, you're gonna get it even if I say no." I said. "He's right. Come on, Kylie, let's go." Eric took her hand.

"I'm so excited to see this. Melanie said it's one of her favorite things here." Theo said as we headed towards the Presidents' Hall of Fame. To be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to it, but I knew Eric would refuse to go in, and it beat the hell out of princesses.

Theo frowned as he saw the attraction entrance. "What's the matter?" I asked. "If the architecture is inaccurate then maybe the show will be inaccurate. Melanie's awesome, but she's not the brightest, she probably didn't notice the flaws. Can we do something else, Mom? I don't wanna do this if it's gonna be inaccurate."

"Sure. What would you wanna do?" I asked. "Splash Mountain." Theo replied. I grinned, "Sounds like a plan. I don't think they pee in the water."

As we headed over, the only thing I could think of was how pissed Eric would be if he found out what we were doing.

* * *

(Eric's POV)

After what seemed like forever, we finally reached Kylie's second page of princess. "OK, let's see who's on this list. Pocahontas, Mulan, Jasmine-What the, these are all the minority princesses. Don't make me sing the song." I threatened. "But Daddy, I-"

"_There are too many minor-_" "Eric, you promised you wouldn't sing that racist song in public anymore!" Kyle shouted. Shit, he was pissed. "Oh, hey, when did you guys get here?" I asked.

"About a minute ago." Theo said, "Mom got dizzy from the teacups, but I still wanna go on Space Mountain, so maybe-"

"Teacups? Space Mountain? Don't tell me you were doing fun things, while I was stuck here with-Hey, where'd she go?"

"You lost Kylie!" Kyle shouted. "She was here a minute ago." I said. "You fucking idiot! Come on, she couldn't have gone too far."

We found Kylie standing next to some princess in a blonde wig-I think it was Rapenzal Or something. She was crying really hard. "A-and I thought that *sob* M-Mommy and D-Daddy were right *sob* behind me." "Sweetie, there are other kids in line who want to get their picture." The princess said.

"Kylie! I thought we lost you!" Kyle cried. "Mommy!" Kylie ran into his arms. "Sorry." He told the princess. She ignored him. I flipped her off as we left.

"How about I go see more princess with you, while Daddy takes Theo to go on the big boy rides?"

Big boy rides, that sounded like fun. "Kick ass, come on, Theo, let's go." "If you get lost call me!" Kyle called to Theo. "Screw you, Kahl, I won't lose Theo!" I shouted back.

"He's just being a precautions parent." Theo said. "Do you wanna have fun, or not? Now let's go to Space Mountain!" I said. "Oh boy, I hope they accurately depict all the stars!" I rolled my eyes.

Sometimes my life really sucked.

"But then again, the car will probably be moving too fast for me to tell, so why don't we just make funny poses for when they take our picture." Theo said.

Then again, sometimes, my life was really awesome.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

(Kylie's POV)

I was so nervous. Now that I was in third grade, I was old enough to try out for the elementary school cheerleading squad. I had a whole technique planned out and now it was just a matter of whether or not I messed up. "Remember," I told myself as the judge's called my name, "Double twirl after the second beat."

As I headed towards the stage, I tripp over someone's foot. "Watch where you're going freak! What are you doing here, anyway? Do you think actually think you're gonna make it!" I groaned when I heard the snobby voice from above me. "Ashley, why are you always such a bitch to me?" I said. "Bitches are female dogs, at least I _have _a female in my family."

The judges called my name again. "See ya bitch." I said and stuck my tongue out at her as I left.

"Kylie?" The judges called a final time. "I'm here!" I said with a grin. "OK, let's see what you've got." One of the judges said, "5,6,7,8." He turned on the CD. Ashley snicked as I twirled around the stage giving it my all.

"You were very good, but you're just not what we're looking for. Your moves are very graceful, I think you'd be more suited for ballet." One of the judges said. I ran off stage crying so hard that I couldn't hear Ashley's taunts on my way out.

"Hey, Kylie, how did you-Oh no, what's wrong?" Mom said as I went into the car. "I don't want to talk about it." I sniffled. "If it helps, I'm sure you did great." Mom said, "In the flyer you gave me they said they were also holding auditions for Swan Lake in the dance studio. You can try for that."

"What's Swan Lake?" I asked. "It's a Ballet." Mom said. "Oh, the judges thought I should do ballet. Can I try out, please?" I begged. "Of course, sweetie, you go for it." "Thanks Mom."

* * *

"Well, what happened? Call backs almost always garentee you get a role." Mom asked as I returned from call backs. "I got the lead!" I squealed. "That's amazing! I knew you could do it!" Mom said.

"Only because you told me to do it. Now I'm gonna rub it in Theo's face. If he additioned he wouldn't even make call backs." I laughed.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Theo was spending the weekenend at Comic Con with Mike, Dennis, and Melanie (who they were dragging against her will), and Kylie had rehersals until ten at night. So, I found the house pleasantly quiet. Don't get me wrong, having my family around me 24/7 is great, but sometimes it's nice to just relax and enjoy the peace.

"Well, it looks like it's just you and me, Rover." I said as I took a seat on the couch and picked up the book I had been reading for the past few weeks. I normally don't read fiction, but Theo suggested the Lord of the Rings to me and now I was on the last book and wasn't able to put it down.

_Flashback_

_"Watch out, Frodo! Pippin forgot to tell you that there's an orc in there!" I cried as I turned the page. _

_As Frodo bravely entered the cave, I felt something wet hit my neck and gently nibble it. "Mmmm. I didn't know there were vampires in Middle Earth." I moaned. _

_"Goddamn it, Kahl, can't I give you hickey without you bringing up that stupid book." Eric said. __"Don't stop." I said._

_Eric started up again. I laughed, "I was talking to Frodo, not you because if he stopped the orc would find him." _

_Present Day _

It really was taking over my life, but what the hell. I had to know whether or not they got that fucking ring to Mount Doom.

Rover suddenly pounced on me and hovered his head above my eyes. "Rover, move, you're blocking my view." I said. As he hopped down, some of his fur got into my eyes. My vision immidiately blurred. "Shit, my contacts!" I said as I took them out to examine the damage.

How dumb of me. I couldn't see a thing without them so there was no point of examining them. I felt something wet hit my hand and slurp the contacts from my hand. "No, Rover, you can't eat those!" I shouted.

I heard him spit them up and whimper appologetically. "It's OK," I said, "I have backup. I just have to get to the bathroom without tripping on anything. Wanna be one of guide dogs for the blind?"

The sound of Rover scurrying off made me frowned. "You're fired!" I shouted. But he came back a few seconds later and coughed up my backup contacts into my hand. "Oh." I said and understood why he left. "Sorry, Rover, I know you were trying to help, but I can't put these in my eyes now that they've been in your mouth."

Rover let out another apologetic whimper. "Don't worry. I'll get more later. Now, I need you to go into my room and get the brown case in my drawer." With a bark of understanding he was off again and when he returned, he had my glasses case.

"Thank you, Rover, you've been a really good boy." I said as I put my glasses on. "You know I've had these since I was Kylie's age, but I never wore them since I refused to let anyone see me in them. I mean I would be cool with it, but Mom insisted on getting the geekiest ones because she wanted her little bubbleh to look academic."

The screeching sound of tires pulling into the driveway told us that Eric was home. "Wonder how he'll react." I said as my husband came in.

"Guess what, babe, I stopped by the store on my way home from work and got some condoms because let's face it we are _not _having a third kid."

That gave me an idea. I ran into the bedroom, turned off the lights and shut the drapes, and hopped onto the bed.

"What's with the silence? Don't tell me your pregnant again!" Eric called. I laughed, "No, I'm not. And I'm in the bedroom." I called back.

Unfortunately, Eric turned on the lights as he came in. "Hey, honey." I said as casually as possible, "So, are we gonna do it up, or are you just gonna stand there like an idiot?"

Eric shut his hanging mouth and asked, "What's with the glasses?" "Oh, these. They're nothing. Just a prop in case you wanted to...Never mind." I put the glasses down and headed towards him...Or the fat blur.

I tripped on a blur that wasn't there a second ago, but Eric caught me. "You can't see a thing, can you?" He stated. Sometimes he wasn't as stupid as I thought. Even though I couldn't see him, I could tell Eric was waiting for my answer, "Well, you see I-"

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Eric said smugly. Damn it, he caught me. I reached for the glasses, "OK, OK, I admit it, I've pretty much been blind since I was around seven, but that's what they invented contacts for, right?"

"How'd you manage keeping this from me for all these years?" Eric asked. He sounded more curious than mad, which was a good sign.

I shrugged, "It's pretty obvious why I kept it from you when we were kids, and I had contacts so long that I pretty much forgot about them until today thanks to Rover."

Rover brought back the coughed up contact lenses and whimpered apologetically for the third time today.

"Anyway, it's no big deal. I'm sorry I lied to you about it. I was just scared that you would make fun of me like you would when we were kids." I said sheepishly.

"You're right, I would, but if it bothers you that much, I won't because something tells me if I do, I'll never hear the end of it." Eric said.

"So you aren't mad?" I asked. "Of course I'm mad that you didn't trust me, but now that we're here I'd much rather take my anger out on you in another form, now get your ass back on that bed!" Eric commanded.

"Thanks, and yes sir!" I grinned and hopped back onto the bed getting ready to have some fun.

* * *

"Eric?" I asked. "Yeah." He replied. "Do you...still find me attractive?" I asked. "Well, that's a stupid question especially after what we just did. Never thought you'd be the insecure one who asks stupid questions." He laughed.

"Thanks." I said and kissed him, "We should take advantage of the kids being gone this weekend and do this more often."

"Well, why do you think I bought all the condoms...This is fun, I like being the smart one." Eric kissed me back.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Tonight was Kylie's big night. Opening night of the third grade production of Swan Lake. "I'm so proud of her." I said as we met up with Stan and Wendy.

"Yeah, ballet is a great way to express yourself and starting at a young age is great. Colleges look for that kind of thing." Wendy said. "Dude, she's eight." I pointed out.

"Speaking of colleges, I'm off to Harvard, full scholarship, next week!" Theo announced excitedly. He had just turned seventeen and decided it was time, but I didn't wanna think about it because today was Kylie's happy day and I didn't wanna ruin it by crying.

Kenny and Butters were already in the theater, waiting for us. We greeted them and took our seats.

"Now would be a good time to set up your iPad." Stan whispered. I nodded and pulled it out. Ike really wanted to see the ballet, but didn't have the time to fly in from Canada, so instead he was going to Skype in from my iPad.

"What the fucking hell is this shithole doing in the playbill?" Eric shouted. My eyes widened, "What have I said about your potty mouth in places like these?" I hissed gesturing to the people who were beginning to stare.

Kenny's eyes went to the playbill in Eric's hands, "Hey, I went to jail with that dude! Great guy except for his raping and horny issues."

"I was the one who arrested him, but he was so rich that he managed to bail himself out before he could register as a pedophile." Eric said.

"But I thought this was a third grade production full of eight and nine year olds. He looks like he's our age." I said.

And then I realized two things: first, he was the only boy in the playbill (which made sense, boys this age wouldn't have enough guts to join the ballet), and second, he played the prince who Kylie was supposed to dance with and kiss.

Kenny laughed, "You know when we were eating those gross prison eggs Bryan said the minute he got out, he would take dance lessons so he cold go into a ballet, earn the little girls' trust and then rape 'em all. You know I wouldn't be surprised if he ripped Kylie's costume off and did her on stage."

"How can you think that's funny?" I cried. "Don't worry, Kahl, if he gets near our little girl he's as good as a dead man." Eric said as he clutched his gun.

(Kylie's POV)

Tonight was the big night; opening night. Everyone was going to be there (except Rover). Mom, Dad, Theo, Uncle Stan, Aunt Wendy, Uncle Butters, and Uncle Kenny. Plus Mom was bringing his iPad so Uncle Ike could Skype from Canada to see.

"Don't mess up." I said to myself, "Or do anything stupid like say Macbeth." I covered my mouth as the word escaped from it. In theater, saying Macbeth was horrible luck and was the one word you must never say.

"Kylie, you're on in five. Break a leg, girl!" My dancing instructor informed me. "OK, thank you." I said as I began to hyperventalite. When your nervous time goes by faster, so right now five minutes was like thirty miliseconds.

"I can't breath!" I cried as the opening music began to play. But the minute he curtains open, I knew I had no choice. I feigned serenity and perfect as I danced just like I did in rehersals and soon, I felt at home, twirling around the stage.

By the Act II I felt very confident and knew the show was going great. The only thing I had to worry about now was kissing Bryan at the end of Act IV. He played the prince, and we never rehearsed the kiss. But for now I was focused on portraying the beautiful swan princess.

Bryan was the only adult in the play, I think he was in his thirties and cute as a duckling. Nobody knew how he was able to get into the third grade production, but none of us really cared because he was a great dancer.

When the end of Act IV came along, I closed my eyes and pretended I was kissing Rover, and it wasn't too bad. It was soft and sweet and I kinda liked it. Hopefully I didn't get cooties.

I opened my eyes and looked back up at Bryan who cleared his throat. Shoot, I forgot we were supposed to kill ourselves now (I never really understood why the ballet ended so tragically).

We pretended as if nothing had happened, and went right into our final dance. No one seemed to notice my little mishap, and we got a standing ovation (but I later found out that Dad, Uncle Stan, and Uncle Kenny had slept through the whole thing).

"Bravo, Odette." Bryan came into my dressing room. "Thanks, you were good, too." I said. He handed me some flowers. "Oooh, thanks, these are really pretty."

"Be mine, princess?" He asked bluntly. "What? Like your girlfriend?" I asked my cheeks turning red. "Yes, if that's how you want to think of it." Bryan said as he carrassed my cheek.

"I don't know. I'm only eight and you don't even know my real name...It's not Odette by the way." I said hesitantly.

"Your name doesn't matter, just your beauty." Bryan said as he pushed me down onto the chair and crawled on top of me.

"OFF OF HER, OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Dad suddenly threw Bryan off of me and held a gun to his head.

"Um...we should probably go before things get ugly. Come on, Kylie, Eric." Mom dragged us out.

"Bye Bryan." I called. Well that was weird. I was glad Dad and Mom came when they did because I don't know what Bryan would've done to me.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"All right, I'm all packed." Theo said as he paced his room looking for anything he missed. "Check under the bed?" I asked. "Nothing but dust bunnies." He said. "Behind the chair?" I asked. "Yup?" "Back of the closet?" "It's all cleaned out."

I nodded, "I guess, you should get going then." I sniffled. "Ah, it's gonna be OK, Mom, before you know it, I'll be back for Thanksgiving, and then there's Christmas, and maybe we'll go down to Florida for Spring Break, and then I'll be home for the whole summer. It'll be fine, you'll see." Theo said as he hugged me.

"Hey, quit hogging the goodbyes, Rover and me want a hug!" Kylie called. "Rover and I." Theo corrected her. "I don't care. We wanna say goodbye."

"OK, OK, come here you two." Theo embraced Rover and Kylie, and then turned back to me, "Where's Dad?"

"I don't know. Eric!" I called. He didn't answer. Where the hell was the fat ass? "I'll go check upstairs." I said.

Sure enough, he was in our room, screaming into the phone, "Fuck you! Yeah, of course we can afford-THAT FUCKING MUCH! Goddamn it! All those nerds do is pick their noses and you expect them to pay that much. Go to hell!"

"Um..." I wasn't sure how to react. On the one hand I could start screaming, on the other hand, there was Eric's gun right there, maybe that would teach him to keep his big mouth shut. I wouldn't hurt him, of course, but threaten. But before I did anything drastic, I had to make sure I knew exactly what was going on.

"Who was that?" I asked trying to keep my voice at a normal tone. Eric turned as he realized what I overheard, "Look, it wasn't my fault. The guy was a complete asshole who had no respect for my a-"

"I don't wanna hear it! I can't believe you cost Theo his fucking scholarship." I shouted my hand going towards the gun.

Eric slapped my hand, "I didn't. That was the head of Yale, and I was telling him Theo was going to Harvard on their scholarship. I'm not _that _stupid, Kahl. I would never talk to the head of Harvard like that!"

I rolled my eyes. "And what if Kylie wants to go to Yale!" "I didn't think of that." Eric said guiltily.

"Hey, Mom, can you come here?" Theo called. "Coming!" I flipped Eric off, "This isn't over."

"What's up, honey?" I asked. Theo held up a picture of me in my old lab from an old photo album. "You never told me you had a lab all to yourself." "Oh, yeah, I only worked there for like a year because Mephesto past it onto me in his will." I explained, "You know, Eric, we can sell that old place for a fortune."

"Sell it? No! Why'd you want to sell it! You'd make more money off of your scientific discoveries!" Theo cried.

I noticed Eric stiffen at my side, "Nah, Kahl's right, we're better off selling it. I don't want any evil clones around to kill us."

Theo didn't seem to hear this. He had a huge grin on his face, "Screw Harvard, I don't need it! I'm gonna work at that lab starting today."

"Is that what you really want?" I asked. It was sure as hell what I wanted. I had no idea what I would do without Theo around.

"Yes! I'm positive. In fact, I'm going down there now...Actually, I'd better unpack first." Theo said.

"You do that." I said, "Eric, upstairs, now! Kylie, cover your ears!" I told him it wasn't the end of it.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Shortly after Theo left for the lab, Melanie showed up at our house with a disturbed look on her face.

"Did I miss him?" She cried, "He said he would call me before he left. Oh, if my stupid work hours weren't insane I would've caught him in time."

I quickly explained Theo's decision, and before I could invite Melanie in, she ran off to the lab to see Theo.

It had been a pretty eventful day, and I wanted nothing more than to pick up on the Lord of the Rings right now. Of course, doing so without Eric distracting me was pretty much impossible. He started playing with my hair and moaning in my hear.

"Not now." I laughed, "Kylie will hear us, and they're almost to Mount Doom." "Like I give a shit." Eric growled.

"Wait!" I said as I got up and bookmarked my page. "Are you kidding me!" Eric cried as I stepped right out of his reach. What can I say, I aim to tease. I made sure the door was locked before heading back to the bed. "OK, I'm ready."

* * *

"So, you think Theo and that girl ever done it like we just did." Eric said. "NO!" I cried, "Theo would never do t-"

My mind went to the look of desperation on Melanie's face when she running to the lab, and all the times I saw her and Theo together, hand in hand, smiling, laughing.

"He's not my little boy anymore, is he?" I sighed. Pushing off his whole college experience had blocked that from my eyes.

"I wonder if Ken ever told him that those fake condoms were an April Fool's joke, not an early birthday gift." Eric laughed. "I think Theo was smart enough to figure that out." I replied.

"You're right. I guess we should worry about all this when they get married." Eric said. "MARRIED?! No. I'm too young to have grandkids." I shouted. "Forty-three isn't that young." He pulled a hair from my head and let me examine it.

"Oh crap, the bottom half's grey! That's not cool. I thought you'd start greying before me." I twirled the hair in my hands, wishing it would turn back to red.

"Well, on the bright side you won't be a stupid ginger anymore." Eric pointed out. I crossed my arms, "Not helping, dude. Oh, why did you have to show me this goddamn hair!"

"You are so adorable when you pout that's why it's so much fun to make you miserable." Eric laughed. "Old as you are, you never seem to grow the fuck up." I said. "Isn't that a good thing?"

There was knock on the door. "Mom, Dad? Can we go see Theo, I miss him already." Kylie called. "Of course, dear, just a minute." I said as I scrambled around for my shirt.

* * *

"Since Theo got a lab can I get a pony?" Kylie asked. "Remember when we took you horseback riding last year, you fell off, spent the summer in a cast, and said that ponies were evil." I reminded her.

"I never said that. Those were horses. I said horses were evil." Kylie pointed out.

"Well, what happens when they _grow up?_" Eric said this more to me than to Kylie. I rolled my eyes.

Kylie ignored both of us and went running into the lab. "Theo, guess what, we came to visit y-EWWWW!"

We followed her in and I screamed when I saw Melanie on top of Theo, both of them naked. "Told you so." Eric sang.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Theo jumped off of Melanie, and threw his pants back on. "Mom, Dad, Kylie...This is awkward."

"Major understatement." I mumbled.

"Look, it's not what it looks like." Melanie stepped forward, blushing, "We just got really excited that we didn't have to do the whole long distance relationship thing and the next thing you know..."

"You used protection, right?" Eric asked. "Of course." Theo replied. "All right, then I could care less, get back to it then."

"How can you say that!" I cried. Maybe it was the anger from earlier coming out, but I really felt that Eric didn't care about the well being of Theo and Melanie.

"Come, on, they're horny seventeen and eighteen year olds in a science lab, do you have any idea how fucking sexy a science lab is?" Eric said.

Memories of us doing it up in this very lab (and a few others) flashed through my mind and I tried to hide the smirk.

I looked up at Melanie and Theo, and smiled, the memories all coming back to me.

* * *

_I still couldn't believe I had gotten my dream job, thanks to Mephesto. Suddenly it seemed all worth it; the fights with Mom when I told her once and for all I wouldn't be a lawyer. _

_Before I could start working, there was a knock on the door. 'Come in.' I called. It was Eric. _

_'How's my favorite Jew doing?' I rolled my eyes, 'What do you want, fat ass?' 'You, of course.' He flipped me onto the desk. _

_'Not now, I can't get fired on the first day on my job!' I cried. Eric ignored me and smashed his lips against mine and I stopped struggling and let him take control of me. _

_That was the first time we went all the way..._

* * *

"Hello, Earth to Kahl!" Eric shouted. "Sorry." I said, "My mind was elsewhere." "Well, no shit. So what are we gonna do about them?" He gestured to Melanie and Theo.

I sighed, "I hate to say this, but you two are old enough to make your own decisions, and you're right, Eric. I have to let go and let you two be. Come on, Eric, let's go home."

I sobbed a little on the way out. "I'm proud of you." Eric patted my back. "You think I did the right thing?" I asked. "I know you did." "Thanks, I love you, baby." I said and I kissed him.

Kylie cleared her throat. Oh crap. I pulled away, "I know you're a little young, but I think we should have the talk with you." I said.

She rolled her eyes, "I already had it with Bryan, but the Uncle Kenny explained that he was a pedomile, who have all those feelings for the wrong reasons."

We gasped and then Eric shouted, "Goddamn it, Kahl, why didn't you let me beat the crap out of that asshole!"

"Well, we'll have more fun blaming Ken." I said as I took out my phone and dialed his number.

"'Sup, bitch!" Kenny picked up. Eric grabbed the phone from me before I could call, "Don't call him a fucking bitch or I will fucking arrest you and fucking kill you! Got it, bitch?"

"Chill, fat ass." Kenny laughed, "Better yet, get the sand out of your vagina. So, what's up, why are you calling me on Kyle's phone?"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that you have no right to have the talk with our daughter without our permission, and I don't give a shit that your stupid pedophile friend beat you to it!" Eric shouted and he hung up.

"That put him in his place." I laughed.

Eric embraced me, "Sorry 'bout earlier. You know I was just kidding around. No matter how old you get you'll still be sexy to me."

An apology? Wow, yelling at Ken must've put Eric in a super awesome mood! Then I realized that he was staring at me and was waiting for my response.

"Don't worry about it." I mumbled and kissed him.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Maybe it was the fact that Theo was using the lab, but suddenly I had the immature impulse to start working there again. Just for one measly experiment...Well, maybe not measly. Something major that would make me rich. I wanted to create a serum that could reverse the effect of old age.

All week that stupid hair Eric had showed me was getting on my nerves. I know I was only forty-three, but I felt really old-like I could move out to Florida kind of old. Now I was becoming the self-conscious one in the relationship, rather than Eric, and no matter how many times he let me top (which ironically always solved his self-esteem issues), I still always felt like he could do better than an old nerd like me.

"I'll be back later tonight, stay safe." Eric said as he left for our least favorite part of his job-disguising as a prostitute to arrest perverts.

"Same goes for you, you're the one doing dangerous things." I said and I kissed him on the cheek. But before he could leave, I pulled Eric back, "Please promise me you won't actually go beyound first base with any of them."

Eric looked surprised and somewhat insulted by this request, "Have I ever? I love you, Kahl, don't ever forget that."

He kissed me, and then laughed. "I got spme lipsticks on you." He licked it off. "Love you, Kahl." Eric repeated. And with that, he left.

I dialed Kenny's number. "What's new, Jew?" He said in a voice that was supposed to resemble Eric's. "I need you to do me a gigantic favor." I said, "I'll even pay you if you don't want to." I added quickly.

* * *

(Eric's POV)

I couldn't believe how crazy Kyle was getting over his age. I was just joking, it was tiny half grey hair, no reason to lose all his self-esteem. If anything I should be upset over my aging, it was hitting me way worse than him. Maybe it was just the shock of seeing Theo and Melanie doing it got to him, that's when this whole thing started.

Whatever. Now I just had to focus on my job. Looking like a ho, I stood outside of a bar, waiting for a victim.

"Hey, baby, you up for spme fun?" I froze, I knew that voice. No, I couldn't arrest him, not my best friend.

Kenny put his arm around me, and whispered, "I'll give you twenty bucks for half an hour." He sounded drunk.

"Ken, it's me!" I hissed, "Now get out of here before I have to arrest you, or worse tell Butters what you're up to!" He jumped away from me, as if I had just pulled out my gun and threatend to shoot (which I easily could if things went wrong). "Holy shit, fat ass!" He cried.

But then he leaned back into me flirtatiously, "You know, you look hot like this. You should cross dress more often."

"You're drunk." I stated as I tried to push him off of me. "Awe, come on, baby, let's have some fun. I'll even pay you, it'll be our little secret." Kenny said as he leaned closer and closer. "Yeah, then I'll have to arrest you." I said.

"But I'm you're BFF, you wouldn't want to arrest your BFF, would you?" Ken cooed. "If they're drunk as shit and hitting and you, then yeah, I would want to arrest them." I said.

I was horrified when he finally managed to captur. my lips...just for a second, then I slapped him so hard he bled. Surprisingly, this didn't bother him.

"You know you want me. What do you have to lose?" Kenny said. "The most beautiful man in the world who I love with all my heart. If I were to ever lose him, I would lose a part of myself and would never be able to go on." I answered honestly. "Now fuck off." I growled.

"All right, is that what you wanted to hear, Ky?" Kenny shouted. Kyle stepped out from the shadows, crying.

"Dafaq is going on?" I shouted. "I put Kenny up to that." Kyle sobbed with his head hung low. "But why?" I asked.

"Because I'm willing to do just about _anything _for free beer and pot." Kenny. "No, not why you did it. Why did you put him up to it." I said.

"To test you and see if you would actually go for someone who looked younger and sexier than me. I feel awful, I should've known better. I'm so sorry." Kyle explained.

"Why would I want someone else? Why would you _think _I would want anyone else? And more importantly where'd you get the beer and pot?" I said. "From that bar. Do you forgive me?" Kyle said. "Of course...I'm sorry for making you feel old." "It's OK, I should've expected it from a big baby like you."

The next thing I know, we're kissing like never before. "I love you so much." Kyle whispered. "I know." I said and we continued our passionate kissing.


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry it's short. **

Chapter 22

I woke up in Eric's arms and smiled. How could I have been so stupid to send Kenny out last night? I hope Eric could forgive me.

I noticed a note by the pillow-huh-what was this. I recognized Eric's handwriting. -_U feel asleep in my arms. Love you. _"What the hell?" I whispered.

Eric shuffled next to me as he woke up. "Morning." He yawned sleepily. "Morning." I replied and snuggled against his chest. "Mind explaining the note to me?"

"Oh, what, this?" Eric picked up the note, "Seems pretty self explanatory. Last night, after our hot make out session, you stayed with me-sat on my lap actually until you fell asleep in my arms, so I brought you back here." He explained.

"You still mad about last night?" I asked. "I never was mad to begin with." Eric laughed, "You seem more mad with yourself."

I sighed and eventually got up, but my cell phone stopped me right in my tracks. It was Theo. He spent last night with Melanie.

"What's going on, baby?" I asked. Theo was silent for a moment before speaking and it sounded like he was choosing his words very carefully, "Don't freak out, Mom, OK?" "OK." I said. "I think I got Melanie pregnant." He mumbled.

With that news, I passed out.

**Dun, dun dun. Should Theo and Melanie's kid be a boy or girl? R&R with your thoughts and stuff. Thanks. I'll be sure to update ASAP. **


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

(Eric's POV)

Oh no! "Kahl! Are you OK?" I wonder what Theo told him to make him pass out. Kyle stirred and slowly blinked his eyes open. Thank God.

I pulled him to his feet and embraced him. "Thanks." Kyle mumbled, and looked up at me. "W-Who are you again?"

Shit. "You're joking right?" I asked. "No...I'm not sure what's going on." He looked almost scared. "Amnesia's a bitch." was all I could say. The whole idea of him not remembering who I was was still sinking in.

"I'll say...Where are we, by the way? And where's Mom and Dad?" Kyle asked. I was insulted by this, "Oh, so you remember your bitchy mom, and you don't remember me!"

Kyle jumped away from me, "Fat ass?" I smiled, "Now, that's more like it. So, how much do you remember?"

"Y-you're all grown up. What the hell? You're like thirty." Kyle cried. "Thanks, I'm actually forty-three...So, you probably think you're still a boy." I said more to myself than to him. This was starting to get scary.

"Ten." He said. "What?" I asked. "I'm ten...Is this one of your schemes because it's not funny!" Kyle shouted.

"You hated me!" I remembered as I heard his harsh tone. "Why did you say that in the past tense?" Kyle asked. "Because-"

"What's going on?" Kylie asked. "Nothing, sweetie, why don't you go in the kitchen. I'll be there to make pancakes in a second." I said calmly.

"You have a kid? She's probably a spoiled brat like you." Kyle said. "Goddamn it, what happened to you, Kahl?"

"Nothing! I just happened to wake up in your house thirty-three years in the future!" he shouted, "You woke up in the future one time, or so you tell me. So you should know how I feel, unless of course, you were lying, like we both knew you were."

Ouch. He really did hate me. "I wasn't lying." I sighed, "And I know you won't believe me when I tell you that I-" "What the fuck is that?!" Kyle shouted.

"What?" I asked. "A ring? You're actually married? Dude! A kid, I could see, but married! Why would anyone wanna do anything more than a one night stand with you?"

"I don't know, you tell me. You've been married to me for almost twenty years now." I blurted.

To my surprise, he started to laugh in my face. "That's a good one! How could I go from Rebecca to _you! _And I'm not even gay. And fat racist assholes are not my type, even if I was!"

"Explain your ring then." I dared him. "My ring?" He looked down at his hand. "NOO! It can't be! It's not true!" Kyle shouted. He ran into the room and locked the door.

I sighed, and let the tears fall as I headed towards the kitchen. I waited for them to stop before approaching Kylie, "Let's go make those pancakes."

* * *

I knocked on the door. "Kahl, I know you still hate me, but I'm bringing you pancakes. You should eat."

He opened the door, pulled my in, and slammed it shut behind me. The next thing I know he has his tongue down my throat and was dominating my mouth. He threw me onto the bed and crawled on top of me.

"What gives?" I asked, trying to ignore the feelings I had urging me to take this further.

"_That _happened." Kyle gestured to the open locket on the foot of the bed. We had replaced the old picture of us and Theo with a new picture of the three of us Kylie, and Rover; our complete and happy family. The picture must've trigger his memory back.

After that, I couldn't think about anything, but the the pleasure Kyle was giving me. I should let him top more often, this was amazing.

* * *

"Sorry." Kyle sighed as we basked in our afterglow. "For getting amnesia or doing _that?" _I asked. "Both. I just got so excited from remembering, that I..."

"It's OK. I'm just glad you do remember. You really scared me. I thought that I would never be able to get you back. I never want to feel that way again." I said.

"As long as I'm here, you won't. I promise." Kyle squeezed my hand and stared at the ceiling. "I just wish I could remember how it happened. I was talking to Theo...And that was it. I can't remember what he said."

"You passed out." I explained, "And I guess your head hitting the floor gave you the amnesia."

There was a knock on the door. "Theo and Melanie are here, should I let them in?" Kylie called. "Yeah, of course." Kyle shouted back.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" I greeted them. "Mom didn't tell you?" Theo asked. "Tell him what?" Kyle asked.

Melanie shifted uncomfortably, "I'm pregnant."

Luckily, I caught Kyle this time, before he could hit his head. "I got you, baby, it's gonna be OK. We're gonna have kick ass grandkids!" I said and I gently kissed his forehead.

"Hopefully." Theo hastily added.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

I couldn't believe this! "Grandkids!" I cried, "But I'm only forty-three! And you're only seventeen!" I gestured to Melanie who was nibbling on an extra pancake from breakfast.

"So, what if we're only seventeen and eighteen?" Theo asked, "You can help us, and they can grow up with the rare experience of getting to know their great-grandparents."

"Oh shit, that reminds me, you better get your pregnant ass to temple to convert, because if that baby is not Jewish on its mom's side, my mom will kill us all!" I shouted, almost spilling my coffee cup with this realization.

"Plus, I don't think she'll react well to the whole idea of being a great grandparent." Eric added. "Don't remind me." I sighed.

* * *

'_You sure you want to do this?' Eric asked. 'Yes, they have to know.' I said. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. _

_Mom opened the door. 'Hello, Kyle...Eric.' 'Hey, Mom, long time no see...or let alone speak.' I mumbled as she let us in. '__What brings you here, boys?' She asked, 'As if I couldn't already guess.' _

_Eric and I glanced at each other. 'You know already?' We asked insync. 'It's a small town. Word gets around. I'm sure it's just phase, and you're both heavily confused.' _

_I rolled my eyes, 'We're engaged, Mom, if that's what you're talking about?' I held out my hand so that she could see the ring. _

_'Pretty small, if you ask me. And they're typically diamonds, not emeralds.' Mom said as she examined the stone. _

_I pulled my hand back defensively. Eric just shrugged, 'It was all I could afford, and emeralds are generally cheaper and match Kahl's eyes.' _

_'So, do we have your support?' I interrupted. 'No, like I said, it's just a confused phase you're going through, and you can do a lot better. But I will tell your father and brother.' _

_'Well, thanks, I guess, let's go, Kahl, I told you this was a bad idea.' Eric took my hand and we left as I held back tears. _

* * *

I glanced over at Theo, and Melanie, who were looking up at me, concerned. "Are you OK? You're gonna pass out again, are you?" Eric asked. "No, I'm not. I just have a headache." I said as rubbed my temples.

"Well, anyway, it's our choice in the end, none of yours, and we're gonna have the baby no matter what!" Melanie declared.

"So do we have your support?" Theo asked more to me than to Eric. "Of course you do!" I announced happily, and gave them both a hug.

"I'm sorry for my reaction. It's just been a stressful morning, and a complete shock, but you have my support, I can promise you that." I said.

"Same goes for me." Eric said, "Now, if you'll excuse us, I think Kahl needs some help relieving some of his stress." He led me to the bedroom, and we shared a naughty grin.

**Wow, that chapter might've been kinda short, but it was really hard to write. R&R please. Luv ya!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Happy Mothers' Day everybody! Enjoy this special themed chapter!**

Chapter 25

One word: yoga. When I did some research on stress relief, that was the one thing that kept reoccurring throughout Google. Yoga, yoga, yoga, Yogi Bear. So, I tried it, and suer enough after a couple weeks I was as flexible as a rubber band and as stress free as the wind.

Sorry for all the similes, JRR Tolkein's figurative language and imagery is getting to me. (Yeah, I'm still reading Lord of the Rings, and can't put it down, maybe I'll rent the movies for Eric. I know we ended up watching the porno when we were kids, but maybe now we'll have better luck).

Anyway, thanks to yoga, I was now confident and care free. Plus, Eric tells me I'm even better in bed, so he's been letting me top more. Maybe it's not just the yoga that's been making me so happy lately...

One day Kylie came home from school with one of those macaroni art things you do in elementary school art class. She gave it to me, saying it was for Mothers' Day.

"Awe, thanks, sweetie, it's really nice." I said. "Yeah, way better than that clay penis we made when we were kids in art class." Eric laughed. I kicked him. "What? It was really funny, until the bitch gave us a detention." "And you tried to kill me with a whiffle bat." I added angrily. "Come on, Kahl, we were eight years old."

I put her artwork on the mantle. We never really did much for Mothers' Day. Kylie and Theo would get me cards (or something they did in art class like the macaroni thing), and Eric would blow the whole thing off. I mean, literally, blow. I wasn't sure if it was a gender thing, or not, but I didn't mind, I was a happy mother, and didn't need a holiday to remind me that.

Now, Melanie, on the other hand, we had to do something for her. Even though she wasn't due for a few more months, she was still technically a mom. But my idea for a present was very random.

"I'm still not following why we're giving her a kitten for Mothers' Day...Is it to make her a mom because she _will _be a mom anyway." Eric said as we headed towards Melanie's house. Theo was already there, of course. He had been spending a lot of time there. And who could blame him? I'd want to be as close to my two loves as physically possible.

"Well, I think she'll love the kitten. Who doesn't love kittens?...Except Rover. If he didn't hate kittens, we'd have a kitten, right? Because I love kitten.s" Kylie babbled.

We knocked on the door, only to find that it was open. "Odd." I mumbled as we headed in. "As a cop with authoritah, I think I should warn them about the dangers of keeping your door-HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

It wasn't as much of a shocker as walking on the two of them doing it up, but still, seeing Theo on one knee presenting a ring to Melanie was the last thing I expected.

But the more I thought about, the more it made sense. They _had _to get married. She was carrying his baby. It was the right thing to do. Plus, they were in love, so that would help.

As Melanie shouted yes and grabbed the ring, Theo glanced over at us. "This time, it _is _what it looks like." He winked and kissed his fianè.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

"Oh, I never thought I'd live to see the day." Liane cried. "Me neither." Dad added. "But here we are!" Melanie beamed.

"I don't know." Mom said, "We all seem a bit young to start raising another generation." My heart sank. We were so close to her understanding.

"So, how are we gonna be raising these great grand kids?" Mom asked. Here it comes, I held my breath, glancing at Theo and Melanie.

"Half Catholic half Jewish?" Melanie asked. "Is that even possible?" Eric asked under his breath while we waited for my mom's response.

"Well, it might as well be only Catholic, since you have to be half Jewish on your mother's side in order to be Jewish." Mom said as she tapped her finger nails on the table.

"Then, I guess we'll raise him or her Catholic, then." Melanie said. Theo shrugged, "They're both monotheistic religions and formed upon somewhat similar philosophies." "Yeah. Something like that, except we believe in Jesus and you don't." Melanie said.

"Huh, never though of it like that." I said, taking in how Theo compared the two religions. Maybe it was because I was surrounded by people who were so focused on the differences (*cough* Mom and Eric *cough* *cough*) that I was never able to see the similarities.

I could tell Mom was furious on the inside, but she sighed and said, "I guess it's your choice, not mine." "Finally, you're talking some sense!" Eric said. Before I could kick him, which was what I would normally do in this kind of situation, Liane reprimanded him. "Eric, that isn't nice!"

She turned to Mom, "Don't feel bad, Sheila, I was kind of hoping our great grand kids would be raised Christian, but you're right, it's not our choice."

"Does that mean you guys are cool with it?" I asked excitedly. "No, but it's not like I have a say anymore." Mom said. "That's the spirit! We should look at the glass half full!" Liane said.

Dad rolled his eyes, "Yes, Kyle, you have our support, as always." "Thanks, Dad, you're the best!" I said as he gave me a hug.

I noticed Eric awkwardly stare at us and then let out a sigh. "I guess that's our cue to go." I said and pulled away.

"Kyle, wait." Liane called, "I have something for you." She reached into her bag and pulled out an old journal..._My _old journal!

"Oh my God! I remember this thing! I've been looking for this for years-Decades actually. Damn that makes me sound old. How on Earh did you find this?"

"Well, remember long ago...Before Theo was even born...when I was looking through Eric's old stuff and found that old drawing?" Liane asked. "I'll never forgive you for that!" Eric added.

She ignored his comment, "Well, anyway, I completely forgot that you spent a summer living here, so I never looked through your old things until last week when I randomly remembered."

"Thank you." I said, "You have no idea what this means to me." Liane smiled, "Of course, dear. And don't worry, I didn't read a single page." She winked.


	27. Chapter 27

**This is the last chapter, but there will be yet another book after this called Life Goes On. thanks for your support. One final R&R would make my day. Love you guys so much!**

Chapter 27

(Eric's POV)

"So, how long have you had this thing?" I asked as I glanced down at Kyle scribbling in his journal. He shrugged, "Since middle school I think. I should've written the date above my first entry because I can't remember when. I'm just filling in what happened from college till now because that was when I lost it."

"Are you gonna let me read it?" I said. "No, way! This is private! _No one _sees this until I die!" Kyle shouted devensively.

Hmmm, maybe I'd read it when he was sleeping. There was no lock. But until then, "Chill, Kahl, you can trust me. I won't read it unless me want you to."

"Thanks." Kyle sighed and put the pen down, "Now let's go help Theo pack his things."

Theo was gonna move in with Melanie in a small apartment that he had bought with his college funds (and didn't spend on the ring). Luckily Melanie worked as a waitress and Theo made quite a few bucks making knick-knacks down at the lab, so they would be fine financially. If not, Kyle and I could always chip in to help.

* * *

"Quit crying, they're only five miles away." I told Kyle as we watched Theo and Melanie drive away. "I know, I know, but I'm still gonna miss him." Kyle sobbed, "I'm going to bed."

I was going to point out that it was only five o'clock, but then I remembered my idea. I grinned sneakily. This would be fun.

**To be continued! What is in the journal? How will Eric react to Kyle's secrets? Find out in Life Goes On.**


End file.
